Talking to Children About Grief: Keepsakes That Help Little Hearts Heal
Losing someone we love is never easy—but for children, grief can be especially confusing. They may not have the words to express what they’re feeling or the life experience to understand why someone they love is suddenly gone.
As adults, we want to protect our children from pain. But we also want to give them tools to cope, remember, and heal.
At For Keeps, we’ve had the privilege of helping many families create keepsakes not just for parents—but for siblings, cousins, grandchildren, and little ones who are also grieving. We’ve seen first-hand how something simple, like a framed photo or a flower from a funeral, can become a powerful anchor of comfort for a child.
Here are a few gentle ways to support a grieving child—and keepsake ideas to help them feel close to the person they’ve lost.
1. Speak with Honesty, Simplicity, and Love
Children don’t need every detail. But they do need truth.
Use age-appropriate, clear language. Avoid phrases like “went to sleep” or “passed away” that can confuse young minds—especially when it comes to bedtime. Try something like:
“Grandma died. That means her body has stopped working and she can’t come back. But we can still talk about her and remember her together.”
Let them ask questions, even the hard ones. And if you don’t have the answer, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know, but I’m here with you.”
2. Give Them a Job in Saying Goodbye
Letting a child contribute in some way can help them feel included and valued during a time when everything feels uncertain.
Ideas include:
- Picking a photo to put beside a candle
- Drawing a picture to place in a memory box
- Helping choose flowers for the service
- Decorating a small keepsake box
- Saying a few words (or sharing a memory) at a memorial
These acts help children process grief in a practical way, while giving them a sense of agency.
3. Create a Keepsake Just for Them
When words are hard, a tangible object can bring comfort. Something they can touch, hold, or look at when they miss the person they’ve lost.
Here are some keepsakes we’ve made for children that have meant the world:
🧸 Mini Memory Boxes
Filled with a flower from the service, a photo, and maybe a note from Mum or Dad. Small enough for bedside tables or school bags.
🐾 Pet Loss Frames
Including paw prints, collars, or a lock of fur—these can be especially helpful for children who have lost a beloved animal companion.
🖐️ Handprints or Fingerprints
If available, having a loved one’s handprint or fingerprint engraved into jewellery or framed artwork can be a gentle way to ‘hold hands forever.’
💐 Pressed Flower Displays
A simple flower from the funeral can be pressed and framed with the child’s drawing or message underneath. It’s something they helped create.
4. Keep the Conversations Going
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. Children may seem fine one day, and burst into tears the next. Let them know it’s okay to talk about their person. In fact, it’s encouraged.
Create space for memory-sharing—at dinner, on birthdays, or when they see something that reminds them of their loved one.
Simple phrases like:
- “I was just thinking about Grandpa’s laugh.”
- “That smell reminds me of Auntie’s hugs.”
- “Do you remember when…?”
…invite children to remember, express, and connect.
5. Know When to Ask for Help
Sometimes grief feels too big for children to carry alone. If you notice changes in behaviour—sleeping issues, withdrawal, anger, or anxiety—it may be time to speak with a child psychologist or grief counsellor.
Organisations like Red Nose Grief & Loss, Bears of Hope, and National Centre for Childhood Grief offer specialised support for children and families.
A Final Word from the Heart
Grieving with children can be one of the most tender, heart-wrenching parts of loss. But it can also be a time of deep connection, gentle healing, and quiet moments of love.
At For Keeps, we believe even the smallest keepsake can become a lifelong treasure—especially for little hearts learning how to carry big feelings.
If you’re ready, we’d be honoured to help create something special for your child.
With warmth and care,
Jess & the For Keeps Team
